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Carroll Family Art Studio |
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Self Portrait with Turtles, A Memoir Excerpt from Self-Portrait with Turtles "Back up on the banking, I marveled at the feel of the turtle in my trembling hands. It was as if I had been allowed to clasp life itself in my hands. How cold I begin to imagine all that was represented by a connection this tangible; the smooth, flat bottom shell resting on my left palm, the caressable contour of the prefect dome of her top shell lying beneath the fingertips of my right hand. Gradually, with great caution, the turtle came forth from her shell. I could see no more than the tip of her nose for some minutes, then her spectacular head (so close now) and gracefully extending neck. The deep eyes of the wild living thing I held in my hands appeared so calm. Holding that first turtle and looking into her eyes, I bonded inextricably with her kind and her world. She became the center of an endlessly expanding universe within the universe.
Turtle was the alphabet of a new language, and not only a passkey into a new world but a key to open the gate of a world I knew I had to leave. The entering was immediate, the opening I saw before me extended forever. I never turned back, though the leaving was gradual, much of it a struggle. The swamp, the marsh, looking for turtles, being there; every time I went out was a reaffirmation. It was too real for superstition and far exceeded magic. I needed no ritual, no priest or priestess, shaman, intercessor, or interpreter. I needed only my eyes, ears, hands and feet, awakening mind, and deepening intuition. I didn't even need a map. I was home Click here to see the Smithsonian Review
©2006 David M Carroll |
With
that first turtle I crossed a boundary of greater dimensions than I can
ever fully comprehend. I changed lives within a life, worlds within a
world. Metamorphosis...